Assassinating For Dummies
by dartboi
Summary: Ezio, Altair and Connor are thrown into the World of Soul Eater to train Black Star. Can they do this almost impossible task?
1. The Arrival

**Assassinating For Dummies**

Altair, Ezio, and Connor all stood staring at the odd blue haired child in front of them. "So…explain this to me again?" Altair said rubbing his temples in confusion. "How many times do I have to tell you idiots!?" A vein in Altair's head popped a bit at the comment, Ezio just rolled his eyes and Connor simply remained quiet. "You were summoned here to train me to become a great Assassin! Me, the amazing Black Star!" Ezio just rolled his brown eyes again "What is 'here'" Connor asked raising an eyebrow, the area around them was…odd. It looked like a school but not one he had ever seen… "It is Death Weapon Meister Academy." Black Star said blandly. "Charming name…"Ezio muttered. "And if we refuse to teach you…?" Altair asked raising an eyebrow "Lord Death will chop your head off." Black Star said almost cheerfully. "Hah I would like to meet this so called 'Death'!" Connor basically yelled.

"Reaper Chop!" a deep voice yelled from behind the Native American Assassin. Connor on instinct ducked down and lurched forward. Once he felt as if he was safe he spun around and saw something that nearly made his jaw unhinge. Ezio just jumped back staring wide eyed. Altair being Altair drew his sword and stood on guard. "What the hell are you…" Ezio said, continuing to back up. "I am Death, The Grim Reaper, or Shinigami~ whichever you prefer to call me." The dark 'figure' said in a goofy voice.

Connor's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he passed out. "Well then…" The Grim Reaper said slowly. Ezio took a step forward now "Ok, what do we get for training for teaching…'him" "Your head" Death replied dully. "I already have my head though…" Ezio said confused. "You won't if you don't train him." Was Shinigami's dark response, nearly making the Italian release his bladder. "Why do you want us to train him so bad…?" Altair said bitterly. "I will put it like this. He is as good of an Assassin as a blind cow." "Hey!" Black Star yelled bitterly, now there was some girl standing by him with solid black hair that was tied into a rather long ponytail.

Altair stared at her in awe, how had she moved there so quickly? Ezio on the other hand decided to act instead of act as he slid over to her, pulling down his white hood revealing his charming face. (This is Ezio the Ezio after AC 2) "Ciao bella~" he said as he bowed before her formally. Tsubaki just blushed a light shade of pink and Black Star just glowered a bit. "Hello Mister…?" she said unaware of the man's name. "My name is Ezio Auditore~ But please, just call me Ezio." He said in a light Italian accent as he gently took her hands and placed his lips onto them.

What happened next made the Italian question reality as the had he once held became a long sharp blade…The girl who was in front of him was gone, instead the blue haired kid was standing angrily with his blade right to Ezio's mouth. Ezio moved back as the blade swung up and he let out a yelp, but then his instincts took over and he lunged forward, pinning Black Star to the ground and putting his hidden blade to his throat "What witchcraft is this!?" he yelled in shock, even Altair was in a bit of disbelief. Black Star struggled under the Italian's weight "Lemme go!" "Explain this first you cagna!" he yelled.

Death then stepped in and gave the very lengthy explanation to the bewildered Italian. Ezio got up off the kid and backed up, retracting his hidden blade. "I do not comprehend the logic behind it but I think I understand…" he said looking away. Altair sighed "So how are we supposed to teach him? He has _that, _all we have are our sword and hidden blades!" he said disgruntled at the predicament.

"I have already thought of this, do not worry. He will simply not use Tsubaki, instead a hidden blade like you do." Ezio just let out a sigh of annoyance "Can't you have someone else do it?" he whined. "Nope~" Death chimed happily and then suddenly disappeared, taking Tsubaki with him. Connor had finally regained his state of mind and sat up slowly rubbing his head "Oh god what happened…?" he said looking around and muttering down to himself "It wasn't a dream…" It then took another 10 or so minutes for Altair and Ezio to catch the Native American up. Connor just sat in disbelief "You're kidding…" "I wish…" Ezio muttered in a bitter tone. "So c'mon guys what's my first lesson!" Black Star yelled, reminding the three Assassins of his existence.

Altair had seemed to have an idea but Ezio quickly stopped him and spoke "How about this. Let's see how good of a hider you are. You go hide and we will try to find you." He said calmly. Black Star only let out a loud laugh "You shall not catch the amazing Black Star!" he yelled taking off into the distance. Once out of sight, Ezio turned off the heel of his foot and headed off into the school. "Where are you going?" Altair hissed. "Anywhere he isn't and that Tsubaki girl is~" he chimed as he walked right into the school now.

Altair sighed and looked at Connor who had suddenly wished he followed the Italian. "Your helping me find him." He said firmly. "But…I have a headache." Connor lied hoping he would buy it. "A good exercise helps clear the mind." Altair retorted. "I have a stomach ache…" Connor said suddenly. Altair rolled his eyes "Run it off." "I am going to die if I move." He said, clearly not wanting to go. "You will die if you **DON'T** get a move on and get your ass into high gear!" Altair yelled loud enough to send the Native American off running in Black Star's direction.

Well what do you guy's think? Any pairing ideas? Review! ^.^


	2. Living Together

Connor ran as fast as he could away from Altair, half of it was due to fear and the rest of it was because he wanted to train the blue haired child and leave as soon as possible. He stopped in the middle of a dense forest and sighed "How am I supposed to find him now?" Connor said as he looked around and saw a rather large oak tree to the right of him. He smirked a bit and ran up it, pulling himself up branch by branch "Hah I'll catch him in no time!-"

_Snap! _

"Oh fuck…" Connor said as he hung in midair then fell and smashed against the oddly hard ground. Connor laid there in a daze and was suddenly pulled up by Altair who growled in an annoyed way "Where is Black Sphere at!?" he yelled. Connor just lurched past him "Hurry! We must stop the British!" he said in a slurred voice. Altair sighed and grabbed the Native American and slapped him as hard as he could. Connor's eyes seemed to come back into reality "What happened…?" he asked wearily.

Altair just stared at him for a moment then face palmed. "Woohoo! They'll never find me now!" they both heard a voice yell. They whipped around and not too far away a large tip of blue hair peaking over a bush. Altair snarled at this and charged forward as Connor slowly followed in a daze from the fall. Altair leaped through the brush onto the child pinning him down. Black Star seemed to jerk around and accidently throw a knee that smashed right into Altair's groin. Altair stopped moving and suddenly slumped over.

"Hey get off me old man!" Black Star yelled trying to push him off. Connor came trotting along but a stray little root caused him to go flying forward, landing on top of both of the men, Connor's blade accidently hooking into Black Star's shirt. "Hey get off me! I can't breathe!" "Shut up! I'm stuck! Gah! I can't pull it out!" Connor yelled. Altair who was in between the two groaned "Oh god…it hurts…" Ezio and Tsubaki who were casually walking through the forest had now just walked in on this, due to how loud they fucking were. Ezio felt a bead of sweat drip down his neck, he hadn't seen Connor trip so it just seemed like a three way to him…Tsubaki's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"God damnit stop pulling!" Connor yelled as he suddenly flew back, ripping off Black Stars shirt entirely. He ended up landing on his back and staring up at the Italian Assassin and Tsubaki. "I swear it's not what you think!" Connor yelled. Suddenly Altair felt it was appropriate to yell out "Oh god my penis! The agony!" he yelled, still on top of Black Star. Ezio just put an arm around Tsubaki and began to walk in the opposite direction "So as I was saying…Italy is a great place!" he said pretending like he had not seen the whole experience. Black Star pushed Altair off and growled "Can I have my fucking shirt?" Connor blinked and handed him a shirt that was practically torn in half.

…

Black Star just threw his hands into the air and walked off in an annoyed manner, which left Connor to have to drag Altair back to the DWMA.

Later that night

The three assassins had been forced to move into some make shift type of dorm. One bed, one couch, one chair, one bathroom, and a simple kitchen. Ezio blinked upon entering and suddenly all of them made a mad dash for the bed. Connor had tripped Ezio and was then shoved back by Altair "After what I have been through I deserve the damn bed!" Altair yelled. Ezio shot up and pulled down the older man's pants, causing him to stumble and fall "You deserve it if you get to it first!" Ezio said smugly.

Connor ran up behind Ezio, and ran up his back, trying to vault over him but instead smacking his head on the low hanging ceiling and falling inches from the bed. Ezio swan dived, landing contently onto the bed. Connor slowly got up and Altair had pulled up his pants and both stared at each other then stared at the couch. Connor who was closer began to run towards it about to dive onto it. Altair on the other hand grappled him from behind before he could as Altair hooked one arm around his waist.

Connor began to flail "Let go old man! It's my couch!" he yelled and threw his foot back carelessly as it smashed right against Altair's groin. Connor blinked as the man slumped down "Opps…" he whispered and walked towards the couch. Altair smirked "I am still numb down there from earlier!" he yelled charging forward and throwing Connor over the couch and then laying on it for himself. Connor laid face first on the floor and mumbled "I think I'll just sleep here for tonight…"

Each of the men fell asleep quickly; Ezio woke up having had a wonderful sleep apparently. Altair was apparently now feeling the effects of Connors foot to his crotch. Connor woke up completely sore. Ezio seemed to have adapted well and was cooking for himself and the other two, it was some sort of pasta. It seemed to be the only thing to get Connor up as he trudged to the kitchen and stood beside Ezio who was cooking some sort of wonderful smelling meat. "Can I try some?" he asked simply.

Ezio scoffed "No! You will try some once I am done!" "Please?" Connor asked as Ezio just hit him gently over the head with a spoon "Vaffanculo." Ezio said dully. Connor groaned "What does that mean? I am not Italian!" he whined. Ezio sighed "It means fuck off." He said. Connor narrowed his eyes "Why are you such an ass?" "I am an ass? At least I am not having a threesome with a minor and an old man. I am also cooking for you! And at least I am not going around kicking people in their crotch!" he yelled growing even more annoyed.

"I tell you! We were not having sex!" Connor yelled completely frustrated. "I have had enough sex, with women, to know what it looks like my friend." Ezio replied now adding the meat and noodles together and mixing them. Connor stormed off in a heat of anger. Altair sighed "You love working him up don't you?" "I sure do" Ezio said cheerfully completing the spaghetti.


End file.
